Forever Yours

Those of you who either read or have read my posts know that my nickname isn’t Mr. Sweet.  I’m far better known for my cynicism than optimism.  But this week I’m taking a time out from my usual attitude.  After all, my oldest son is getting married to someone wonderful this spring.  And I thought it might be cool to interview the daughter of one of my best friends, who is getting married this week.  I’ve known her for a very long time and I also know her intended so this chat was pretty enjoyable.

ZK:  “You’re days away from marrying Rich.  I gotta ask, do you have any doubts or fears about being with him, hopefully for the rest of your life?”

Rachel:  “It’s funny, I did have those fears, but after we got engaged, they basically vanished and I haven’t felt them since.”

ZK:  “Even with the wedding looming?”

Rachel:  “Truthfully, none at all.  I really love Rich and I know he really loves me and that’s no different days before marriage than it was months and months and months ago.

ZK:   “So what is going through your mind these days?”

Rachel.  “I’m having feelings I don’t think I’ve ever had before in my life.  It’s like a combination of every imaginable feeling all mushed together.”

ZK:  “Do any particular ones stand out?”

Rachel:  “Probably the mix of extreme excitement and being anxious for the day to finally arrive.  For me the pressure is totally internal since everybody involved in the planning and taking care of details has been completely supportive.”

ZK.  “No fights with Mom and Dad?”

Rachel.  (laughter)  “Some quibbles but nothing I would call a fight.”

ZK.  “So how hard was it to pick a dress?”

Rachel:  “Why would you ask that question?”

ZK:  “What can I say?  Must be the metrosexual in me.  So was it tough?”

Rachel:  “Well, I was with my mom and my dad’s sister and it started slowly, but when we saw the right one all of us knew that was it.  So, I’d say all in all dress shopping went pretty smoothly.”

ZK:  “Do you still think it’s the right one?”

Rachel.  “I love it even more now and can’t wait to wear it.”

ZK.:  “You mentioned internal pressure a while ago.  Can you talk more about that?”

Rachel:  “Sure.  I grappled with body perception earlier in my life and I feel some of those old feelings surfacing. (FYI–Rachel is lovely and not the least bit heavy.) So I have to sometimes work to keep those feelings at bay.  Everywhere you look, there is pressure for brides to look completely perfect on their wedding day. It’s the “Bride’s” day!  Everyone is looking at the bride, waiting to see what she’s wearing, how she wears her hair, what her shoes look like, how much weight she’s lost…That’s a lot of pressure on a single day in your entire life.  And I sure don’t want to look back at my wedding pictures and think I look fat, or my hair not right. So there’s those sorts of things.

ZK:  “I can’t imagine you’re going to look fat.  Unless you spend the next week living in an ice cream parlor.”

Rachel.  (laughter) “I can’t do that.  I work every day and then I work out.”

ZK.  “Well, that takes care of that.”

ZK:  First, thanks for spending this time together.  And for letting me write this up. Maybe it’ll give me some sense of what my future daughter-in-law will be going through before her wedding.  Also, I want to say that you and I see each other almost every week and I’ve been really impressed watching how you’ve dealt with everything.  So my last question—is there anything you want to add to what we’ve gone over?

Rachel:  “Yes.  There’s this amazing feeling of WOW! I’m getting married.  How lucky am I?  My anxiety is purely about the wedding. I am incredibly blessed to have found someone as amazing as Rich.  I know it’s a cliché, but I really feel like he’s my other half.  I try to remind myself of that in case something isn’t perfect at the wedding, I still get to be married to the love of my life.  That’s what really matters, that’s what all this craziness is about!  I truly love him and I know he loves me and I like knowing that wherever we end up in the future, we’ll be together.

“Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” – John Maxwell

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