THE DONALD

By

Zachary Klein

 zachWell, look what we got here. As of July 2nd Donald Trump has captured second place in the Republican field of presidential candidates. Mr. “You’re Fired” holds that position in New Hampshire, Iowa, and NATIONWIDE. Now my first instinct when I read that was to figure, hey, he’s a television personality and the upchuck he’s running against, well let’s just say the elevator really doesn’t get to the top floor with any of them.

But then I read some independent voters’ comments and realized the TV show didn’t actually explain his popularity. “He doesn’t need anyone’s money so he can be his own person and say the things we’re all thinking, particularly when it comes to his stance on immigration.” All in all he was praised for his business acumen, his straight talking, and financial freedom.

Enough has been said about his “announcement” speech regarding Mexican rapists, so there’s no need to comment about that. And rather than going off on a rant about all that’s gold doesn’t glitter, let’s hear from the man himself.

1TrumpON THE ENVIRONMENT:

It’s freezing and snowing in New York. We need global warming.

The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.

You cannot sue a company for polluting.

No ‘rights’ to clean air and water.

“Sustainability” is a codeword for “Socialism.”

There’s plenty of room for animals; right next to the mashed potatoes on my plate.

ON FOREIGN POLICY:

To the victor belong the spoils, he said to Bill O’Reilly, about his stance on remaining in Iraq after the war. Therefore I would stay and we keep the oil.

(Dealing with OPEC) We have nobody in Washington that sits back and says, you’re not going to raise that fucking price.

China’s Communist Party has now publicly praised Obama’s reelection. They have never had it so good. Will own America soon.

I beat China all the time.

I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall.

THOUGHTS ABOUT WOMEN:

Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Woman find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money. (THE DONALD SPEAKING ABOUT HIMSELF.)

All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.

You know, it really doesn`t matter what (the media) write as long as you`ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.

I think the only difference between myself and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.

One thing about me, I’m a very honorable guy. I’m pro-life [now], but I changed my view a number of years ago. One of the primary reasons I changed [was] a friend of mine’s wife was pregnant, and he didn’t really want the baby. He was crying as he was telling me the story. He ends up having the baby and the baby is the apple of his eye. It’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him. And you know here’s a baby that wasn’t going to be let into life. And I heard this, and some other stories, and I am pro-life.

ON AFRICAN-AMERICANS:

Laziness is a trait in blacks.

Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.

I WOULD BE REMISS IF I WROTE THIS COLUMN AND DIDN’T LET THE DONALD TALK ABOUT HIMSELF:

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.

It’s tangible, it’s solid, it’s beautiful. It’s artistic, from my standpoint, and I just love real estate.

That’s one of the nice things. I mean, part of the beauty of me is that I’m very rich.

I’m not a schmuck. Even if the world goes to hell in a handbasket, I won’t lose a penny.

I’m a bit of a P. T. Barnum. I make stars out of everyone.

I feel a lot of people listen to what I have to say.

Hide your cruelty for those occasions when you really need it.

The point is you can’t be too greedy.

 

So this is the Republican Party candidate who is running SECOND.

trump

 

 

 

 

 

 

What the hell is rattling around in their minds?

18 thoughts on “THE DONALD

  1. “Hide your cruelty for those occasions when you really need it.” Old Satan could not have said it better.
    Thanks for the compilation.
    Jose

  2. Ugh! As I read this, I kept muttering out loud, “Oh my God…” Just when you think he can’t get any uglier, he says something even more horrible. Let’s hope his nomination loses steam by next year.

  3. The fact that you’re even asking why a celebrity is leading now, this early, in the game long before the first primary is laughable! Tump is like Bernie Sanders, a pre game warm up…

  4. Well Zach, that was an entertaining read. I hope he gets the nomination. Honestly, the Empire needs a shake-down. We need a big fat fall if we’re ever going to morally rise again. And to be sure, those of us who stand for greater things will absolutely rise again. Energy is like this. Kites fly higher against the wind.

  5. When all is said and done, I don’t believe as President he’d handle most things any differently from the rest of the Republican candidates or Hillary Clinton. Actually, he wouldn’t be allowed to.
    Matter of fact, it might be nice if he won the presidency; if people didn’t realize the farce of our two party system then, they never would.

    • Jed–There’s a large part of me that agrees with you. It’s always a drag to think like George Wallace (“Not a dime’s worth of difference between them.”) but in reality it’s always been just the lesser of two evils. Which might be the biggest drag.

  6. The fact that Donald Trump is now the most popular of all the GOP candidates only supports the premise that the USA is a nation in decline. We focus untold amounts of energy into banning a flag that is, for better or worse, a part of our heritage while virtually ignoring the fact that the hatred and anger that fueled the shootings that began the entire fiasco have not even been addressed. Our children and our children’s’ children will almost certainly be the first generations to have a lower standard of living than their predecessors. How do the candidates deal with this issue? Simple – they blame the previous administration while offering nothing in the way of real solutions. Dump Obamacare? Sure, why the hell not! But what do you have in mind to replace it with? So far I have heard nothing that even comes close to a real solution. Maybe a Trump Presidency is just what the doctor ordered. That way we could pick up the pieces of what will be left of America and build a nation where everyone is truly equal.

    • Dave–If you noticed the interchange between Jed and me, I kinda agree with your conclusions with some serious reservations. First, that flag question might be symbolic at its core, but what does that symbolism actually mean? Is it to simply avoid the meat and chop off the sizzle, or is it some kind of preface? My gut tells me the former, my hope the latter. As far as candidates are concerned, despite the drumbeat of “he can’t win,” fact is, Sanders also tells folks what he thinks and what he thinks comports to me a muchh greater extent than anyone else. (And trust me, I see how bad he is on military aid to Israel.) But the real concern I have about the Republican right-wing Jihadists is our grandkids. We’ll be fine. Them, not so much.

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated. This column is important to me and Susan.

  7. Oh, no, I just left an extended commentary on “The Donald”. It got deleted, with an “error”! Oh, no! And what praises I bestowed, including my reflecting on a student who wrote on my evaluation “Trudy for President!” And I was reallytruly hoping to choose Trump as my running mate. He’s waaaaay kool, guys. The true testament to his proposed “wall” to keep out these “rapists” is his HAIR! He’s already established that as his wall; he don’t need no other.

    GEEZ, how can I come to terms with my guilt about living in Chelsea with all these Mexican rapists runnin’ around my ‘hood?! I’d best go catch ’em. Probably should set out now since they’re all hanging out in Chelsea Square. Yes! I’ll do that. Be back in a few. Thanks, “The Donald” for your portentous wisdom and your kooky hair! You ROX! You da MAAAAN!

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