By
Zachary Klein
Well, look what we got here. As of July 2nd Donald Trump has captured second place in the Republican field of presidential candidates. Mr. “You’re Fired” holds that position in New Hampshire, Iowa, and NATIONWIDE. Now my first instinct when I read that was to figure, hey, he’s a television personality and the upchuck he’s running against, well let’s just say the elevator really doesn’t get to the top floor with any of them.
But then I read some independent voters’ comments and realized the TV show didn’t actually explain his popularity. “He doesn’t need anyone’s money so he can be his own person and say the things we’re all thinking, particularly when it comes to his stance on immigration.” All in all he was praised for his business acumen, his straight talking, and financial freedom.
Enough has been said about his “announcement” speech regarding Mexican rapists, so there’s no need to comment about that. And rather than going off on a rant about all that’s gold doesn’t glitter, let’s hear from the man himself.
ON THE ENVIRONMENT:
It’s freezing and snowing in New York. We need global warming.
The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.
You cannot sue a company for polluting.
No ‘rights’ to clean air and water.
“Sustainability” is a codeword for “Socialism.”
There’s plenty of room for animals; right next to the mashed potatoes on my plate.
ON FOREIGN POLICY:
To the victor belong the spoils, he said to Bill O’Reilly, about his stance on remaining in Iraq after the war. Therefore I would stay and we keep the oil.
(Dealing with OPEC) We have nobody in Washington that sits back and says, you’re not going to raise that fucking price.
China’s Communist Party has now publicly praised Obama’s reelection. They have never had it so good. Will own America soon.
I beat China all the time.
I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall.
THOUGHTS ABOUT WOMEN:
Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Woman find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money. (THE DONALD SPEAKING ABOUT HIMSELF.)
All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.
You know, it really doesn`t matter what (the media) write as long as you`ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.
I think the only difference between myself and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.
One thing about me, I’m a very honorable guy. I’m pro-life [now], but I changed my view a number of years ago. One of the primary reasons I changed [was] a friend of mine’s wife was pregnant, and he didn’t really want the baby. He was crying as he was telling me the story. He ends up having the baby and the baby is the apple of his eye. It’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him. And you know here’s a baby that wasn’t going to be let into life. And I heard this, and some other stories, and I am pro-life.
ON AFRICAN-AMERICANS:
Laziness is a trait in blacks.
Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.
I WOULD BE REMISS IF I WROTE THIS COLUMN AND DIDN’T LET THE DONALD TALK ABOUT HIMSELF:
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.
It’s tangible, it’s solid, it’s beautiful. It’s artistic, from my standpoint, and I just love real estate.
That’s one of the nice things. I mean, part of the beauty of me is that I’m very rich.
I’m not a schmuck. Even if the world goes to hell in a handbasket, I won’t lose a penny.
I’m a bit of a P. T. Barnum. I make stars out of everyone.
I feel a lot of people listen to what I have to say.
Hide your cruelty for those occasions when you really need it.
The point is you can’t be too greedy.
So this is the Republican Party candidate who is running SECOND.
What the hell is rattling around in their minds?