RED CARPET E TV:
ME: Has a mani-cam which allows celebrities to show their fingernails. Why discriminate against foot folks? Where is the pedi-cam?
Tristan ?@TristanAriel: Bradley Cooper mom is a real philly chick talking bout “hi philadelphia” on the red carpet lol.
Vulture ?@vultureThe @fuggirls: “The nipple darts on Hathaway’s dress are INTENSE.”Henry Schulman ?@hankschulman: If I were on the red carpet and was asked “whom I was wearing” I could honestly say, “Why, this is from the house of Kirkland.”
Kyle Challancin @itsapear: IT’S HAPPENING. IT’S STARTING. I CAN’T BREATHE.
ME: This ain’t your father’s Oscars. Which actresses showed their boobs in movies? A flying nun tonguing Sally Fields??
@HuffingtonPost: “I got a bottle of wine and some Boniva..” Seth MacFarlane as Flying Nun hits on Sally Field #Oscars” Funniest line so far.
Beth ?@thecoolbeth: My mom just called me and asked “who is Seth MacFarlane.”
Thomas ?@thoscarpenter: Tommy Lee Jones’s face looks like a relief map of the ocean floor.
Diane Sharp ?@DSharpie: Bob DeNiro for pretending to be an Eagles fan. Even Philadelphians can’t do that anymore.
Michael J. Listner ?@ponder68@MarsTweep: Better to watch #thewalkingdead. At least the zombies are fiction unlike those at #oscars.
erica @futt: who decided it would be a good idea to play off the “life of pi” team with the “jaws” music?
Tom Storch @TomRStorch: Best Bond: George Lazenby. So good he only needed to do one.
Anuya J @boozeandshooze: Wow that Bond montage was as long as Les Mis.
Sabrina Kalliope @SawBreeNah: I want to be a Bond Girl. I’m doing lunges right now.
michael epps @michael_epps: Dame Shirley in the house!
Mark Estano @mje1986: The Bond retrospective just proved that Daniel Craig is the sexiest Bond girl ever.
El Jefe @jefesural Best Doc or ‘life is far more horrid than you know so we’re making a movie about it’.
Gregg Pavone @LimelightSignCo: If he doesn’t win best director, Ben Affleck should get an honorary Oscar for overcoming the J-Lo years.
Alex Fitzpatrick @alexleefitz: I’m an asshole and even I think the Jaws playoff music is a little much.
Steve Hofstetter @SteveHofstetter: Sacha Baron Cohen went from Borat and Bruno to kicking ass in Les Mis. I’d like to see Larry the Cable Guy try that.
George-Anne A&E @GeorgeAnneAandE: Poor Marky Mark was in “The Departed” a few years ago and is now having to pretend to be standing next to a teddy bear.
Shelby Taylor @ShelbyxPwns: Not gonna lie, Ted is fucking my mind right now.
Love My Ice @harglo123: Jesus, couldn’t get a tux to fit, Wahlberg??
Brendan Andrew @BrendanDarr: Dudes with long hair haven’t gotten this much run since Almost Famous.
Joy Noelle @JoNoSo: Soooo if you have a long speech you get eaten by a shark?
Mitch Kinard @mitchkinard: One day, Tarantino will be 80 years old, and there will never be a more terrifying underbite to receive such acclaim.
Charles Mayaka @TheMayaka: Are we that sensitive to our history that we can’t even have a clip of Django?
Jordana Stein @jordanastein: All the old people at our oscar party just died over Babs performance.
On The Red Carpet @OnTheRedCarpet: That was the first time Barbra Streisand performed at the Oscars in 36 years.
MT @waitwait: I know there’s probably a rule or something, but don’t you wish the tiger from Life of Pi was there in a tuxedo?
Zandile Blay Amihere @zandile: i will always be profoundly confused by renee zelleweger’s face. always.
Dennis Lawson @gr33nazn: Just 2 more Botox injections and Renee Zellweger’s eyes will disappear forever.
Tom + Lorenzo® @tomandlorenzo: Chicago is now the frontrunner to win Best Picture.
Tom Bodett @TomBodett: I’d like to go up to bed, but my legs are asleep all the way to my ears.
nick kroll @nickkroll: Ladies and gentlemen, the academy would like to recognize one of everything!
Well folks, my legs are working but, in my attempt to bring you an overview of pop culture, I was able to watch this mind-numbing exercise until 11 P.M.–one hour longer than last year.
Must have been the naked breast song at the beginning of the show.