The wealthiest 400 people in America now own more wealth than the bottom 150 million Americans.
People love #sotu because it feels like genuine bipartisanship is possible. It’s like opening day in baseball
All right obama, time for you to trick me into liking you and getting my hopes up for a few minutes.
Rick Perry is at home wearing a beer helmet, while watching the State of the Union he wants to secede from.
SOTU drinking game: One shot after each time Obama says something socialist. If you’re confused, it’s at the end of every sentence.
Michael Ian Black:
If Obama wants to draw a stark contrast between himself and Gingrich tonight, he should do the State of the Union shirtless.
Why is the State of the Union Address ignoring Ron Paul?
Boehner, Our Nation’s first Orange-American Speaker. A milestone for the fake-tan community.
Clarence Thomas busy amending tax returns tonight I guess.
Pretty funny when politicians who hate each other pretend to be enthusiastic about shaking hands.
Drink every time Biden wipes his nose… The count is at 1
Starting off with the bungled Iraq withdraw seems kind of odd.
RT .@AngryBlackLady: Somebody check President Obama’s back to make sure Cantor didn’t tape a “kick me” sign.
“Obama Begins State Of The Union By Asking Congress To Imagine Newt Gingrich Standing Before Them.”
FYI: Black America has watched its wealth plummet to the lowest its been in 25 years.
On a scale of Hammered to Shitcanned, how drunk is Orange Julius?
Oof. John Kerry looks like an unpublished Bloomberg Businessweek cover.
RT @FrankConniff Only half of the audience seems to be enjoying President Obama’s speech. Tough room.
Top Conservative Cat:
Has anyone yelled “you lie!” yet? No! Then why did we elect you #teaparty bozos if you just sit there instead of calling Obama out?
Whenever they show Eric Cantor, all of my plants die and I feel sad inside.
As Obama speaks on jobs moving overseas, the “Made in China” sticker on his American Flag Lapel Pin is starting to show.
I gotta get me one of those U.S. Flag lapel pins so that people will shut up whenever I speak.
Members of Congress, I have the high privilege and distinct honor of presenting the man I’ve devoted my life to smearing.
@HotlineReid: I want to see Mystery Science Theater 3k version of #sotu
Nice to see GOP sitting on their hands during the “teachers matter” applause line.
Biden drawing pictures of trains now, but Boehner won’t look at them.
Guys, I’m a little afraid that John McCain CAN’T stand up.
There he goes with facts. That can’t work.
I think “The Promise of Clean Energy” was the name of a Paula Abdul song.”
He watched the president’s speech with a glint of hope that things could indeed be better but then he realized he had eaten too much cheese.
I think we’re about three years away from a State of the Union where the President walks around Congress with a wireless mic.
“I am proud to report that in addition to bin Laden, I just killed the dude who wrote that milk joke.”
BREAKING: Gingrich Now on Fifth Wife
Michael Ian Black:
This guy is so good I wish he was president.
“We want a government leaner, quicker, and more responsive to the needs of Americans, so I’ve signed us all up for The Biggest Loser”
I think it’s cool that Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi traded haircuts.
Obama: “It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white.” For a second, I thought he was breaking out in song again. But then he continued.”
RT @lejlaows: So basically homeowners are screwed, banks are allowed to commit fraud, and we’re entering World War III. Excellent.
GOP finally picked someone for this career-destroying SOTU response assignment who has no presidential plans.
FUN FACT: Mitch Daniels is the guy who squeezed his fish face through the prison bars in X-Men 2: More X-Men.
“Government as big and as bossy” from a guy representing the party who wants uterus control.
Looks like they woke up Mitch Daniels from being cryogenically frozen, so if that’s true, he’s doing great.
I’m guessing that black mark on his flag is what Cheney uses to control him.
Next to their Presidential nominees, this Daniels guy sounds like Che Guevara.
“Haves and soon to haves”? Wtf is a “soon to have”? “Soon to have” means you have yet to HAVE it… Gtfoh!”
Obama: “I’m candidate Obama, and I approve this message.” Republicans: “Birth certificate, and stuff! #rebuttal” Me: “Mmm… cake.”
I’m sorry Republicans, but you have NOT been a loyal opposition.