WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
Something seemed strange when my eyes popped open. Not the recliner, used to it by now. Not even the shoulder pain after my recent surgery. Mornings always begin with that these days. But this time the ache seemed lighter and, for a moment, I wondered whether the painkillers were still working after seven hours.
Then it hit me. The pain was less simply because there was less pain.
Duh.
Okay, then. Rather than automatically grabbing for my morning meds, I decided to see if I could skip that round and wait for the next. Sit at the table, have my coffee, read the paper, hell, take the fucking brace off for a while.
Big mistake. For the first time in what felt like forever, I actually understood what I’d been reading for the last few weeks. But on this particular morning I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, grabbed the past week of the Boston Globes and read them all. That’s when I realized I had awakened to a nightmare.
“Boots on the ground” in Iraq? Hadn’t we already done that with horrifying results? (Is there anyone anywhere in the world (other than Iraqi politicians who got rich and powerful) who actually imagines our decade long debacle was any kind of victory for anybody? Or even slowed the growth of terrorism in any way? And now our guns, drones, bombs, and warships are starting to point toward Syria as well as Iraq.
I’m a fucking usher at the same movie over and over and, regardless of the “new” situation, I know the ending will be the same. It always is and has been since the Second World War. Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results?
Does anyone really expect a better conclusion to using our force in the Middle East? I don’t think so.
Except, I suppose, the military and those who control it. When you have the largest number of weapons ever accumulated throughout the entire course of history, the incentive to use them must feel irresistible. Kinda like having a naked sex partner in the other room. Sooner or later you’re going into that room. Probably sooner.
And make no mistake. For most politicians war is sex.
It seems apparent that our government—both Democrat and Republican—just can’t get the taste for blood out of their mouths. Could it be that if we stop being the cops of the world we’ll no longer have any identity?
We sure as hell don’t want to be known for the chart at the top of this column. And that chart doesn’t even mention the insane income disparity that currently exists. Did anyone reading this ever believe we’d be living in a country where financial inequality would be greater than during the Robber Baron era? Not me.
Truthfully, when I combine all that I read, see, and watch about our domestic and foreign policies, it doesn’t feel like a nightmare. It is one.
And I’m one of the swells. White, relatively healthy, have a home that’s paid for, work I usually enjoy, friends and relatives with little or no chance of anything other than ill-health or accidents waiting to occur. Call me crazy, but that’s just not good enough.
This isn’t the country I imagined and hoped it could become. I never thought we’d spend our lives simply enjoying the arts, never thought we’d totally eradicate poverty, or even live in communes where no one fought about whose turn it was to do the dishes. I did, however, believe that if people put their service shoulder (no pun intended) to the grindstone, time and effort would tilt all of us to a better place. A place where we wouldn’t have to sweat our children’s opportunities or our grandchildren’s lives.
Obviously I was wrong, wrong, wrong. It’s worse now for most Americans than it’s ever been. And you don’t even need that chart to see it.
Ask people you know. Ask the person who works in Walmart but has to receive food stamps to feed her kids.
Ask anyone who has children who couldn’t afford college how their job search is going. Ask if they’ve been offered anything other than part-time work with absolutely no benefits. Including health insurance–other than the half-ass Obamacare that tries to pretend it’s “healthcare for all.”
Last week Kent wrote about the way suicide sneaks up on people with bi-polar conditions. But I have a suspicion there is something I’d call “political suicide.” Do you really think the day Hunter Thompson shot himself he was more depressed than the days, months, years before? Does anyone believe that about Spaulding Gray the windy day he waded into the ocean never to return alive?
I have no doubts that a forensic psychologist could/would uncover a ton of personal reasons for why these two people took their lives. But I’ll go to my grave believing a serious slide into their descent was the realization that our society was going to get worse. Much, much worse.
They were dead right.
Now, I have no plans to kill myself because my country is the belly of the beast. I’ll continue to do as I’ve always done. Try to write about difficulties in human relationships (see Matt Jacob), about all sorts of wrongs through this column, try to find pleasure where possible—and even write about that too. Plus, I will continue to believe in my heart of hearts that innovations in technology will enable good, compassionate people throughout the world to communicate and create the potential to grow seeds of positive change.
But those seeds are still just “potential.” Now is now, and now it’s time to take my painkillers.
“There are two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” ~ Edith Wharton
It is interesting to me that we write and post similar topics this morning, as if we, and other like minded folks, might be the undertow that will, in our own way, continue to continue… and that is our job after all… to be the undertow. We do have voices. And we will continue regardless, to believe we can do better as human beings.
In that book “**** My Dad Says”, there is a profound quote; “Why are we, as parents, only as good as our worst child?” (Something like that, if not a totally accurate quote.)
So, we may be the minority, but we do have a voice and we don’t have to buy into the wrongs these power-mongers present to the world as the American way. Fuck ’em. Keep writing, Zach… you do NOT in vain.
Kathleen–Not that surprising we wrote about the same thing. As far as “Fuck ‘em. Keep writing, Zach.” Of course.
During my two-year battle with the Veterans Administration, I was emailing everyone (including my Congressman) and doing all research possible to look for ways to speed up the claims for my brother, who’s still fighting the Vietnam War every time he moves his legs–or what’s left of them.
I found a tragically high–but still unknown–number of vets have killed themselves because of the endless waits and reschedulings for critically-needed operations. The VA facilities are all they can afford.
Mere polyps have turned into 3 and 4 stage cancer during these delays which have often lasted YEARS. Men and women have died waiting for bypass surgeries. Various maladies, all of which cause great pain but can be easily treated, have caused them to simply eat a gun barrel. Worse are those shattered in mind instead of body. Many a young man who joined the military simply because this economy offers no jobs wound up doing five and even six tours of duty in combat zones. Many have actually spent more days in combat than any American did during WW II. Quite a few of them, actually.
The pleas from their families and themselves are still going unheeded. PTSD is a bitch to treat under the best of circumstances, but even minimal treatment can save lives. Instead they came home to an economy that still doesn’t want them, a military who no longer needs them, and a Veterans Administration that couldn’t care less about them. They’re no longer heroes, not even human beings. They are mere statistics to be juggled, divided, lied about, and hidden.
So hundreds of them have taken their lives too. And you will never, ever find any statistics on them. No one really knows how many have died in this manner.
People began raising enough hell that Congress “investigated” the horrifically wasteful, gluttonous, and corrupt-at-all-levels VA. But this problem started when Congress itself, *with two wars in progress* cut the budget of the VA while they were straining to meet the increasing numbers of casualties coming back from the Mideast. Congress knew it was responsible for much of this debacle in the first place, but did a superb PR job of hiding that from uninformed American parents, wives, and the vets themselves.
Ask THEM about the condition and priorities of this country. Better than anyone else, they will be able to tell you the truth.
Kent–“Ask THEM about the condition and priorities of this country. Better than anyone else, they will be able to tell you the truth.” I am 100% certain that if there had been a military draft or demanded national service we’d have a whole lot less vets–and all the shit that’s fallen on their heads. I know we have differing views about this but what you wrote re-enforces my pacifism.
A draft, eh? Interesting for you to mention that…
I was watching David Letterman interview Neil Young two or three years ago. Letterman spoke of the days of the great Vietnam War protests, the marches, the songs, and the growing number of people who eventually turned against that war. He asked Young, who was a leader during the anti-war movement, “What’s different now? Why aren’t we seeing that today? Was it 9/11? Is it because we were attacked on our own soil? Why aren’t there any protests today?”
Neil Young said, “Because there’s no draft.”
Letterman: “That’s it?”
Young, nodding: “That’s it. The kids in that war now couldn’t find any jobs and couldn’t afford college. They thought it over and decided to kill two birds with one stone. By joining the military, they could get a paycheck and later get help with their college tuition. Problem is, they either still come home in a box and their parents or wives get a folded flag, or they get out and find the G.I. Bill isn’t worth half what the recruiters told them. And in between joining and getting out they’re being sent into more combat, time after time, than any Americans have ever seen. That includes the Civil War.”
So you’re in good company, old hoss. You have at least two great Americans who agree with you–Neil Young and me.
Kent–“So you’re in good company, old hoss. You have at least two great Americans who agree with you–Neil Young and me.” Well, that’s good to know. Actually, what I’d like to see is mandatory national service with the military as a much higher pay/benefit component.